


Rage On Against The Dying Light

by icrashedmorty



Category: Degrassi, Degrassi the Next Generation, Degrassi: Next Class
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst and Feels, Blood Loss, Blood and Injury, Bullying, Cam Lives, F/M, Gen, Graphic Description, Hospitals, Mental Breakdown, Non-Canon Relationship, References to Depression, Self-Harm, Subplots, Suicide Attempt, Teen Angst
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-02
Updated: 2018-04-05
Packaged: 2019-04-17 06:26:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 10,699
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14182860
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/icrashedmorty/pseuds/icrashedmorty
Summary: Cam Saunders survived his suicide attempt; how will that one little action change Degrassi as we know it?





	1. Someone to Die For

**Author's Note:**

> Warning: The following is not to be read by anyone suffering from suicidal thoughts or severe depression - as this could be very triggering. Do not copy Cam's attempt; please talk to someone if you're in a dark place.
> 
> Lastly, I am not responsible for anyone copying Cam's actions in chapter one, as I don't condone them. Your life is worth something, I hope that's the real message received here.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Check the tags for all triggers in this story. DO NOT READ if you're in a bad mindset and planning to do something similar; talk to someone and please seek help - you're loved, you're worth this life, and you have purpose on this Earth. Thank you. 
> 
> Chapter song: "Someone to Die For" by Hurts (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pt1kc_FniKM) // Credit goes to them for the chapter and story title.

“Campbell Saunders attempted suicide in the greenhouse; sometime last night, Maya. You may want to take a mental health day with Katie to go to the hospital.” Principal Simpson explained as he handed over a piece of paper detailing where he was.

“Oh, oh my God,” Katie muttered as Maya shushed her older sister, to read the message. “Let's go, Maya!” Katie exclaimed, she hurried to grab her things, so they could head out.

“What caused him to do this and why would he do it?” Maya questioned. Principal Simpson shrugged, let out a light sight, and furrowed his brow.

“Zigmund Novak turned himself into the school this morning; blaming himself but we're not sure how to move forward. We only know that Zig said he should leave you alone.” Maya listened, nodded and got up to leave as she typed the hospital address into her phone.

“Yeah, Zig can stay out of my life. Tell him I said that.”

* * *

Maya’s heart was pounding as she walked through the halls of the hospital. Once she and Katie reached the ICU, they were allowed back to his room, where he was lying unconscious. His family came down as soon as they learned the news.

“Are you the Maya Matlin that caused all this? We should be taking your family to court to press charges, if he dies!” Richard Saunders exclaimed, he was one of those sports parents, always forcing Cam to do top notch at any match or practice.

“None of us caused this! They were perfectly happy yesterday when they were together and then your son did this to himself! Wonder why?” Katie argued in defense of her frizzy blonde younger sister. “Clearly, the issue lies with none of us. Cam is sick; focus on that!” Katie angrily concluded.

“I had a feeling this would happen!” Maya spoke softly to herself, she looked around as she tried to find a way past his family. She wanted time alone with Cam but now that was impossible.

“Knew what?” Richard interrogated.

“That all of you would blame me when I didn't do anything wrong; I didn't even see this coming!” Maya explained, her voice shook with each word as her sister bravely stood in front of her.

“Will you let her see him?”

“Richard, let her, I know Campbell really liked Maya - he even told me about how close they were. Let the girl see her boyfriend; our son!” Campbell's mother stated, placing her hands onto her hips as she stared her husband down in the bright hallway of the hospital.

Spitefully, the man moved aside and Maya walked into the dimly lit room to see Cam lying there, eyes closed, with a breathing tube inside his mouth. He looked to be in a peaceful slumber as she stood tearfully at his bedside. “You should have talked to me, you jerk.” Maya sobbed, she looked down and took one of his hands into her own.

“Don't die on us, please. Don't leave me like that!” She continued. Cam gripped Maya’s hand as he continued to lie there, pain free, with his eyes closed. “Come back!” Maya pleaded.

Katie observed from outside the room. “Is he in a coma?” She asked, turning to get answers from Campbell's mother.

“Deep sedation; he's on a lot of pain medication and other medication to make him able to breathe more.” The woman explained, Katie narrowed her cat like blue eyes and thought for a moment.

“What did he do?”

That was one question his mother didn't like the idea of answering but - with a deep breath - she calmly started telling Katie what happened in the Greenhouse.

* * *

  _The young ice hockey prodigy climbed the gates of Degrassi, late that night, it couldn't have been later than two o'clock but Zig’s words stuck with him. Every failure, every simple mistake, every harsh word from the team - it all made Cam’s chest heavy with never ending sorrow, despair and anxiety._

_His feet hit the pavement gently and the metal gate behind him rattled slightly. Cam did not want to die but he feared for a future that he didn't want. Plus, Maya and everyone else would be better off, he knew that._

_Cam walked slowly to the greenhouse and grabbed the flashlight in his pocket. He searched, all of five minutes, and found what he wanted - a bottle of bleach. He sat down next to a work bench and placed the bottle down too. He pulled his note out for the school, to get Maya’s stuffed owl back to her, then placed Hoot down on the note. Also, to say he was truly sorry._

_He waited until seven thirty that morning, to twist off the blue cap, and force down the liquid entering his body. Once it was chugged, the burn of his esophagus caused tears to form and fall onto his cheeks; yet he was still eerily at peace. Cam grabbed the leg of the work bench behind him, the searing pain burned deep within, and as Principal Simpson walked by without notice, Cam tried moving out of sight._

_A wave of nausea hit hard, Campbell vomited blood forcefully onto the cement below. He wanted to scream from pain, but all he could do instead was cry silently. Two, three, four more large haves later and Cam collapsed onto the ground. Campbell was growing tired and closed his eyes, letting them flutter shut, as he hoped the Earth would cease to exist. Fifteen minutes later, he faintly heard a low voice cry out._

_“Call 9-1-1; Clare, go, now!” Eli Goldsworthy ordered and Clare ran off without looking back. Eli slowly approached Cam, by that time, he should have been dead but instead he wasn't - the athlete was alive, in intense pain, and silently pleading in his mind for help. Despite blood, some flesh, and bile surrounding them - Eli stooped down to feel Cam’s pulse._

_Faint, very faint but he was there. Just barely able to breathe. “Hi, Cam; I'm Eli, grade twelve, I don't think you can hear me but if you can - can you try talking?” Eli spoke calmly though he was anything but that inside._

_Cam didn't dare speak. Everyt_ hing _hurt, especially his throat and abdomen. Opening his eyes, he pitifully locked eyes with Eli, though his surroundings were a blur. Cam reached out a hand and Eli took it, comforting the younger teen, as they remained. Eli felt Cam’s pulse every other minute._

_Hearing a commotion; Eli grabbed a blue tarp and tied it up to block the view, writing “Help needed in here! Dying student; just watch your step. All students stay back!” on the tarp. “Helps coming, okay?” Eli asked, Cam squeezed Eli’s hand and nodded._

_“Stay with us; the EMTs are here. You'll see your loved ones soon, Campbell. Just wait! It's gonna be okay; I promise you it will.” Eli stated as the paramedics took over, speaking jargon, while Eli stepped out to let out a cry while Simpson took Eli to change clothes._

_As for Cam, he was rushed to the local trauma one unit, and from his odors - one stood out - swallowed bleach. The doctors worked hard to get any toxic chemicals in his system out with transfusions and fluids._

_Campbell finally got pain meds and other medication to sedate him; then he was handcuffed to the bed, wheeled to be scanned, then taken to the operating room to repair any internal organs that were damaged. His esophagus and stomach got the worst of it all._

After emergency surgery, the doctors opted to keep him comfortable, and he was able to rest while his family got a lecture on mental health and teens. For now, Cam’s future was at stake but he didn't care, so much as this got him out of the NHL.

Breathing tubes added support. As his esophageal tract remained swollen; the rest of his future, was up in the air. All everyone could do was wait it out, and Cam hoped he would speak again. If not then, eventually, and deep down since he was forced to live - Cam wanted to fight. All that was left, was to heal. That's what the young athlete wanted for himself and Maya.

* * *

 As his mother finished tearfully explaining things to Katie; Katie teared up and wiped her tears, to apologize. “Your son is an incredible boy and he deserves help and happiness. I hope he gets the things he needs most. And I'm so sorry but he seemed fine around me!” Katie rambled, with a tone filled with sadness for the young man in the room with her sister.

“I really think they love each other .... but I know she loves him.” Katie confessed.


	2. Stay

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, chapter song and title goes to Hurts with their song "Stay" (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1nP3XB7hrFo). 
> 
> Chapter Soundtrack:  
> \- Be Okay by Faith Marie (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-kv10eAxJiM)  
> \- The Weight of Living Part 1 by Bastille (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xyzHYg9BYRs)  
> \- No More Heroes by Aviators (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0TIO4IHLNZw)  
> \- Breathe Me by Sia (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SFGvmrJ5rjM)

“ _Don’t call me that, Clare_ ,” Eli demanded as he listened to the word ‘hero’ escape her rosy pink-tinted lips once more. He couldn’t stand to be called such a thing; all he did was save Cam from death. He didn’t have to stop and get his clothes covered in bile, blood, and tissue from the grade ten student’s body. Yet, there he was, doing the right thing - trying to save a life and all he could think about was Julia; how he wanted to do the same for her but saving her was impossible. “I’m not a hero, at all.” He concluded, sighing heavily while placing his face into his palms out of total frustration. 

“I thought you wanted to be one in the story of your life, Eli?” Clare asked, sounding totally redundant in her words which lead Eli to look up with her with an intense glare - one she hadn’t seen since the previous year. When he was manic but this time, it was anger. “I’m sorry, I’ll leave the office and call you later.” Clare muttered, feeling scared of her boyfriend as she began to walk away with her bag now placed on her shoulder. She bumped into a man clad in a leather jacket and looked up, it was Bullfrog. “Hi, Bullfrog; I’m heading out.” Clare spoke softly, a sadness overwhelming her tone and the man patted her shoulder gently with a soft smile on his lips.

“See you around, Clare!” He responded, Eli sunk down into his chair and kept his eyes on anyone but the men in the room. His father along with Principal Simpson.

“Eli, we believe you need to take a couple of days off after this incident; we know you’re working hard to finish your short film and the video yearbook. Those things need to be worked on from home so you’re getting two days off.” Principal Simpson stated, he knew he still needed to make an announcement to the school that a counselor would be coming in shortly to help those dealing with the attempted suicide. 

“You have an appointment with your therapist this afternoon, too, so we need to get going. You can clean up at home and then we’ll head off.” Bullfrog chimed in, Eli stood up trying to fight back tears of heartache and anger - both emotions which seemed to be boiling beneath the surface of his skin; pulsing through his veins and spreading like wildfire. 

The playwright shook his head in refusal. “I’m fine!” He exclaimed angrily, glaring back at his father though Bullfrog could see tears forming behind his eyelids.

“No, you’re not, and you need to get some help today to deal with this. You don’t have to talk about it with me, with Clare, with anyone but you need to see your therapist today.” Bullfrog argued, crossing his arms over his chest as he spoke to his only son in a stern tone of voice. “Get your stuff; you need this more than you know.” Bullfrog continued but when Eli turned to sit back down, Bullfrog grabbed the pile of dirty bloodied clothing out of the 

“No I don’t!” Eli shouted, as soon as he spoke, warm tears began to fall onto his cheeks as he sat back down in the office.

“Eli, I know what you’re going through right now. I once found a boy when I was your age, he was in the old bathrooms here at Degrassi, lying dead in a stall. He had committed suicide by gunshot and it’s hard to find the person but you saved a life today.” Principal Simpson explained, Eli swallowed hard as it began to set in that he really had saved someone instead of causing their death. Letting out a shaky breath, Eli stood up and shook hands with Simpson then looked over at his dad.

“I remember hearing about that over at Banting. We had a similar situation, drug overdose with one kid and alcohol poisoning with the other at the same party; tragic stuff, Snake.” Bullfrog confessed, he wasn’t making light of the situation or trying to one-up the others in the room, he was just relating in his own way. Simpson smirked then laughed, realizing the kids would know his old nickname if it got out. It was bad enough when Emma knew it. 

“Heard about that, too, and you were there - **right**?” Principal Simpson asked, furrowing his brow. Bullfrog simply nodded and lightly shrugged in response. “See, Eli, you’re not alone; your Dad and I both went through things like you went through. I know you’re doing well, I’ve kept watch over you, and you’re doing better than ever. So go to therapy, talk this out, and come back Monday.” 

Eli listened as he wiped tears away; his expression was still one of stone. “I’m sorry you experienced that, Mr. Simpson,” he began then turned to his dad, “you, too, Dad.” Eli concluded, the two left the office to go out to the parking lot, instinctively Eli looked away from the now blocked off Greenhouse, where a Hazmat team was cleaning up. 

The two walked silently and got into the car. They didn’t speak until they were closer to home and Eli broke his silence for the first time. “Not to sound like I’m bragging or anything but I’m glad I was in the right place at the right time to find that kid. He needed help, he got it, and I hope he pulls through but what I saw will probably always be on my mind.” Eli admitted quietly, Bullfrog nodded as he listened while keeping his eyes on the road. “I know that could have been me last year, Dad, and I’m sorry I tried to kill myself over love. I will never attempt suicide again; life is better than death,” Eli added. 

Bullfrog’s eyes filled with tears as the two sat in the driveway. Once they got out, he grabbed the clothes in the bag and pulled his son in for a hug. “I love you, Son. Let’s get you clean so you can go to therapy.”

"I love you, too, Dad." 

* * *

 

The heart monitor continued at an even pace as Cam’s eyes fluttered open, Maya was sitting down next to him, watching as Cam finally opened his eyes. The breathing tube had been removed, he was breathing on his own, and slowly recovering but Campbell barely remembered anything else. His parents rushed into the room but the first thing out of his mouth was a softly spoken “Maya?” that had left his lips. 

As much as the frizzy blonde haired teen wanted to be angry, she couldn’t be. Not this time, even if what Campbell did was stupid and hurtful to everyone around him. From his point of view, he was more happy than anything to be alive, and as he looked down at all the wires attached to him, he moved to look under his hospital gown. “Tell Dallas I’ll make up for this time lost as soon as possible.” Cam muttered, noticing he had staples along his stomach and yet still he wasn’t thinking entirely clearly - he was thinking like this had been another ‘accident’ or just a surgery. 

“Cam, I don’t know if you can play anymore.” Maya spoke to him as she squeezed his hand, it finally felt warm again, and she realized he would be okay - in due time. “You may be leaving Toronto when you get out of the hospital and psychiatric unit.” 

“Wait, psych unit? Why would I go there since I know I want to live and enjoy life now?” Cam questioned, his voice was still quiet and sounded like he had swallowed down sandpaper to make his voice scratchier than it normally would be. Maya wondered if Cam would heal or if he would always have that sound to his voice after his injury.

“You tried to kill yourself, Cam, and they’re going to take you there - it’s a requirement. I’m not sure if or when we’ll see one another again.” Maya admitted, though she looked up at his parents with a plea in her eyes to allow them to let him stay the rest of the semester, or year. She couldn’t let go, not now. 

Cam reflected on what he had done the night before but it was a blur. What no one knew, was that before he tried to kill himself, he had also taken a large amount of pain medication to get him through it without suffering - or so he thought. “Wait, I went to the Greenhouse didn’t I? I actually did it and didn’t dream that?” he questioned, realizing his hands were bound down to the bed so he couldn’t attempt to harm himself any more than he already had.  The hockey player was furious with himself, saddened by another failure, and angry that he hurt his loved ones. Especially Maya. “I’m so sorry, I didn’t - I - didn’t know how to ask for help or what I was going through; just that I felt the weight of the world on me and I was so tired. So, incredibly tired.”

Maya grew silent then pulled Hoot out from her bag. “I got the note you left for me; you don’t have to say anything else” Maya comforted Campbell, while she handed her owl over to him to keep him comfort overnight. “I love you, Campbell Timothy Saunders. Don’t do anything dumb while I’m gone tonight, okay?” Maya spoke softly as she brushed hair out of Cam’s face. 

“I love you, too, Maya. I promise.” Cam replied, turning his attention to his parents when they cleared their throats. Maya quickly left, she didn’t want to be a distraction for him while his parents were in the room, plus she had to get back to her own. 

“Yeah?” the NHL star muttered as he looked up at his father; part of the reason he joined a junior professional league was to get away from that man. “Are you going to yell at me now about my career?” the young man spat angrily, the heart monitor beeped slightly more rapidly as he began to get agitated with his parents.

His father took a moment to speak; he was silent and blood red in the face with anger as well as pure disappointment. “No, luckily the doctor said that Eli Goldsworthy saved you just in time - he also saved your career; you’re staying for the rest of high school like you planned.” Richard stated, Cam nodded quietly as a look of annoyance came over his expression. He was never good at hiding how he felt.

“Yeah, good. I want to be here until then,” Cam admitted, he knew he wanted to be alive but not back where he came from - he wanted to be in Toronto, with Maya, and living happily while playing hockey. It no longer seemed to be that bad to him; it definitely beat lying there in a hospital bed, in pain. “I don’t want to go home. I want to go back to my old life but live it better this time.” Cam continued, then he began to cough as his chest started to itch and burn, he quickly grabbed the button to release medication into his I.V. and pressed down. Releasing a dose of morphine into his system. 

“Why did you think it was **a good idea** for you to _drink bleach_ , Campbell?” his mother asked.

“I wasn’t thinking at the time; I was high on whatever that was in my host mom’s cabinet and I didn’t take but like - three - maybe five of those pills. Then I went to the school and I don’t remember anything except the burning fire in my stomach and throat.” Cam confessed, he made a face as the morphine made its way through his veins and arteries, causing a bad taste in his mouth and a heavy weight to take over his body. He felt like he was sinking in quicksand for a moment as the burning stopped. “It was stupid, like me, now can you get out of here?” 

“Don’t speak to us like that! Your siblings are outside and they want to see you, too.” 

“They can see me tomorrow. I need to rest.” Cam argued.

As the doctor stepped into the room, Cam’s eyes felt heavy as he moved Hoot closer to his body, while the gray-haired man spoke to his parents about everything. He was correct, he needed rest and as soon as the doctor said that, Cam drifted off to sleep once more. Not caring how angry Richard or Blanche Saunders became, deep down he knew the staff would kick them out, regardless.

Though he couldn’t hear them, the doctor explained that Cam would be able to return to ice hockey and the Degrassi Ice Hounds by the end of the semester - as long as he kept a strict, soft food diet and kept resting so he could heal. However, he would suffer from pain for the rest of his life, due to injuries sustained from the attempt. Needless to say, the doctor explained that Campbell Saunders was one lucky young man, and that he needed to be valued more. The three left the room together to let Cam sleep. Giving him exactly what he wanted while the doctor spoke to the host family sitting in the hall. Maya and Katie, however, were long gone so they could get home.


	3. One More Light

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title is credited to Linkin Park's song "One More Light".
> 
> Chapter Soundtrack:  
> \- "One More Light" by Linkin Park ( https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3kaUvGSLMew )  
> \- "The Kids Aren't Alright" by Fall Out Boy ( https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PuGUUZqNfjE )  
> \- "For Everything A Reason" by Carina Round ( https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vpb44f27q4M )  
> \- "What A Catch, Donnie" by Fall Out Boy ( https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RrUlVuyKN7I )  
> \- My Demons ( https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LSvOTw8UH6s )

Two weeks had gone by and Cam was told that he was being released into the care of a place called Brighter Days Mental Health; a place where they sent teens that were suffering mental health issues or from some form of addiction.  He would never admit to being afraid of anything but deep down, he was scared to go to this place, because he had heard some horror stories about facilities like this one.

“I have to be admitted to a hospital for six more weeks, Maya. I’m not coming home but I will still be in Toronto, I’m sorry.” Cam wrote in a text as he was leaving to go to Brighter Days. As Maya’s eyes looked over the words on her cell phone screen, she felt her jaw drop, knowing it would feel like forever until he was back in Degrassi’s halls. 

“Six _**freakin’**_ weeks!” She exclaimed angrily, storming off from Katie to sit down on the bench outside the school. 

Katie stooped down, patted her sister’s knee and gave her a sympathetic look. “It’s all going to be okay, Maya, it will go by fast. You’ll blink and he’ll be right back here on the bench with you!” She tried to comfort her younger sister, the young musician silently agreed with Katie’s words. Katie moved to sit with Maya, giving her a serious look as she pondered a question that had been on her mind.

“So, do you know why he did it or have any reason in mind?” Katie questioned. Maya locked eyes with her sister and nodded her head as she thought back.

“He hated hockey, he didn’t like the team because they treated him horribly and bullied him all the time, and he kind of missed his brothers but not his father. He was pretty mean to Cam; always pushing him in sports.” Maya admitted, Katie leaned back and thought of an idea, which was an anti-bullying rally at the school to help students be kind to one another.

“I have an idea, Maya, but I’ll need your help.”

* * *

 

“Alright, Campbell, we’re here! This is the facility,” Campbell's mother exclaimed, helping him out of the car with his things. The two walked into the building together, he remained silent, as his hands trembled while he held the luggage. 

“It’s really nice in here! I wonder how much the NHL paid for this?”

She just had to bring up the fact that he would be playing hockey. Again, his heart began to pound with anxiety and his palms grew wet with sweat. 

“Let’s check me in so I can get out of here and get back to school, okay, Mom?” Cam asked, his mother sympathetically nodded her head. Turning around the corner, a familiar face approached, and Cam’s jaw dropped. It was KC Guthrie; a former student at Degrassi that had been picked up by the Alberta Wolverines as a professional basketball player. “Holy sh--- that’s KC from the Wolverines! He’s an amazing basketball player!” Cam spoke softly to his mother, she of course had no idea since his family was one for ice hockey and nothing else.

“See? Not so bad here. Maybe you’ll be friends!” She suggested.

“That would be really cool, actually! I wonder what he’s in for?” Cam asked. 

“I can hear you!” KC called out to the young man, his mother filled out the paperwork that was needed and Cam approached KC shyly. KC quickly smiled at the younger teen and sat down on the couch inside the halls of the facility. “The team caught me doing steroids; I was sent here to do my time and get better from the addiction. What are you in for?” KC asked, making the place sound like a prison. With the scrubs he had on, it seemed to look like more and more like one as time went on. 

“Suicide attempt; drank bleach and I was found by this guy named Eli Goldsworthy,” once Cam responded KC’s jaw dropped slightly as he looked back at the younger of the two. 

“I knew him; he was dating my ex-girlfriend and worked on the paper at Degrassi with me while I was there!” KC replied, his tone filled with shock as they talked. “So you were at school when you tried to kill yourself? Why?” KC added. 

“I didn’t want my host family to find me or have to clean my mess up. I had more of a chance of succeeding away from them, too.” 

“Damn, you really wanted it, huh? I’m glad you’re still with us.”

“I did but I’m glad I’m here, too. Not - here - but alive, I get to see my girlfriend and still live in Toronto until I can emancipate from my family.” Cam explained, KC nodded he then noticed another student in for a mixed diagnosis of severe complex trauma, anxiety, and some addiction issues. KC called out to the guy named ‘Miles’ and waved him over. 

Miles quietly approached KC, the two had become friends in the few days they had been there already so KC decided to introduce the two, since Cam was closer in age to Miles. “You’re going to Degrassi next year, right?” KC asked, Miles nodded then narrowed his eyes and tilted his head.

“Why?” Miles questioned.

“Cam, this dude next to me, is a student there. He’s in,” KC turned his attention to Cam, “what grade?” 

“Ten.” Cam replied, Miles smirked and nodded then extended a hand to shake hands with Campbell. 

“Nice to meet you, Cam! Even if we’re in the worst fucking circumstances.” 

“Agreed but you too!” 

“I have to get going or my one-on-one therapist will be really mad. I can’t do another week here. See you around guys!” Miles walked away after making his quick exit, he seemed nice enough but Campbell still felt truly alone and that familiar feeling of emptiness began to creep up. 

“Campbell Saunders?” a woman approached, Cam raised his eyebrows as the conversation was interrupted. He looked at what the woman was handing him, a pair of scrubs and socks, they were a different color from everyone else’s so far. KC was in orange, Miles was in royal blue, and Cam had been handed a pair of lime green scrubs. Cam nodded and took the scrubs. “Alright, go change your clothes and put everything on you except your phone in this bag. 

“Okay,” Cam quietly replied then waved as he walked away from KC. 

“He’s that stable?” KC asked.

“You know we can’t discuss that with you, Kirk.” the nurse replied, KC muttered something under his breath and walked off.  “See you later in group.”

“Right.” KC muttered, nodding. 

* * *

 

“I did but I’m glad I’m here, too. Not - here - but alive, I get to see my girlfriend and still live in Toronto until I can emancipate from my family.” Cam explained, KC nodded he then noticed another student in for a mixed diagnosis of severe complex trauma, anxiety, and some addiction issues. KC called out to the guy named ‘Miles’ and waved him over. 

Miles quietly approached KC, the two had become friends in the few days they had been there already so KC decided to introduce the two, since Cam was closer in age to Miles. “You’re going to Degrassi next year, right?” KC asked, Miles nodded then narrowed his eyes and tilted his head.

“ **Why?** ” Miles questioned.

“Cam, this dude next to me, is a student there. He’s in,” KC turned his attention to Cam, “what grade?” 

“Ten.” Cam replied, Miles smirked and nodded then extended a hand to shake hands with Campbell. 

“Nice to meet you, Cam! Even if we’re in the worst fucking circumstances.” 

“Agreed but you too!” 

“I have to get going or my one-on-one therapist will be really mad. I can’t do another week here. See you around guys!” Miles walked away after making his quick exit, he seemed nice enough but Campbell still felt truly alone and that familiar feeling of emptiness began to creep up. 

“Campbell Saunders?” a woman approached, Cam raised his eyebrows as the conversation was interrupted. He looked at what the woman was handing him, a pair of scrubs and socks, they were a different color from everyone else’s so far. KC was in orange, Miles was in royal blue, and Cam had been handed a pair of lime green scrubs. Cam nodded and took the scrubs. “Alright, go change your clothes and put everything on you except your phone in this bag. 

“Okay,” Cam quietly replied then waved as he walked away from KC. 

“ **He’s that stable?** ” KC asked.

“You know we can’t discuss that with you, Kirk.” the nurse replied, KC muttered something under his breath and walked off.  “See you later in group.”

“Right.” KC muttered, nodding.

* * *

 

Later that night, Cam had settled into his room which was way too nice for a typical residential treatment center in Toronto; he assumed it must have been a place for rich kids and young adults. People like himself, KC, and Miles. 

Eight o’clock rolled around that night and Campbell had to make a choice: call his family or call Maya. He immediately chose Maya, as his second call of the day and she picked up the moment she saw his name pop up on the screen. He sat on the edge of his bed, looked up at the camera overhead nervously and then focused on his priority - his twenty minute call with his girlfriend. 

“Hey you! How are you feeling and how is it going at Brighter Days?” Maya asked as soon as she picked up, finally sounding chipper, instead of so bleak in her tone of voice. Cam managed to smile at her words. 

“Hi, beautiful. It’s interesting - there’s a student from Degrassi that’s famous now, he’s here, but no longer goes there and then there’s one coming to the school soon. Met both of them when I got here; small world, right?” Cam explained, he leaned back onto the pillows, and decided to get comfortable on the bed while talking. “How was school and your day?” Cam inquired curiously.

“I missed you, a lot. The halls aren’t the same without you in them,” Maya admitted, dropping her chipper tone which switched to sullen as she spoke. Her eyes looking off out the window, at the moon. “At least we’ve got the same moon to be under until you’re home.” 

“Yeah, I missed you too.” Cam confessed, his voice cracking and breaking as he spoke, tears fell from his eyes as he let out a heavy sigh. His body trembling as he continued to lie there on the bed. “I miss you so much; everything is unbearable without you in my life everyday. I’m sorry I did this, to you and to us.” Cam cried softly, Maya found herself breaking down for a moment too before she decided to speak up about her day in more detail.

“Katie and I started an anti-bullying campaign, Cam. Eli Goldsworthy is part of it, too, because of your teammates being so mean to most people. He thinks they’re afraid of him, though, because of his looks.” Maya rambled, Cam managed to laugh through his tears as he wiped them away.

“You’re really doing that? Is it going to get anyone in deep shit because my team, they’re not too bad, they’re just selective about friendship I guess. They have trust issues.” Cam inquired, feeling a knot form in the pit of his stomach.

“We are and Simpson spoke to them as a group today. I don’t know what was said or done but Dallas went up to the roof and got busted for drinking; he’s being forced into therapy too but the one-on-one outpatient stuff. That’s what Katie told me since they’re friends or whatever.” Maya responded in her own little rant, wiping another tear from her eyes as she sat in her room, still looking at the moon. “I just… miss you. So much.” 

“I’ll be back soon; I hope this will pass fast, I can’t stand it.” 

“ _Me, neither_.”

“By the way, I’ve been thinking and I think we should take the next step in our relationship together.” Maya confessed, her own stomach now in knots as her heart began to race. 

Cam sat straight up on his bed and smirked. “You do? You actually want that with me?” He asked.

“I do.” Maya replied, hearing her mother open the door. “I have to go, Cam, my mom needs me to do the dishes. I love you, we’ll talk tomorrow?” 

“Yeah, we will.” Cam replied softly, after telling his girlfriend that he loved her he switched over to MyView, and watched a few videos of his favorite vloggers. Nothing could keep his mind off the fact that Maya wasn’t there, though. He felt his heart sink in his chest, despite the feeling of fleeting happiness moments before while they talked, and more tears started to fall from his eyes. Over the intercom in his room, a voice spoke to him, and he looked up at the camera above the bed. 

“Campbell, are you okay? Do you need a therapist or another dose of medication?” 

“Fine. Just bring my night stuff; I want to go to bed early, so I can have a full day tomorrow. School and all.” Cam lied, he just wanted to sleep in actuality and the nurse agreed to bring him his medicine and night time snack. Within a few minutes, once he ate and took his pills, he fell back against the pillows and tucked himself in. Feeling his pain medication take over and his body relax, as he fell into a deep slumber.    
  



	4. Colors

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title belongs to Halsey's song "Colors". Full credit to her.

It was noon, that following Monday, and lunch had been pushed back to twelve-thirty to give students time to go to the rally if they chose to do so, or take a free period, instead. Plenty of students showed up for Cam, for kindness, and to support the cause which was to stop so much bullying from happening on the school grounds.

After therapy, Eli didn’t want to do much talking about what had happened or what he had seen, but he still showed up for Cam’s sake. Also, for the sake of Tristan, Adam, and the others he knew that had been bullied by someone - including himself. Eli was amazed at the crowd gathering, his emerald eyes twinkled beneath the sunshine outside the school on that late spring day.

Mr. Simpson had decided to step aside and monitor, he didn’t have much to say, but he wanted to make sure no one else said anything negative about Campbell. “Are you ready to speak?” Katie asked, Maya nodded her head slowly then approached the microphone after she moved from the bench she had been sitting on. Katie stood up front, Marisol was right next to her, along with Fiona and a few other faces. Eli was standing in the back, leaning against the glass of the school’s windows. Maya hadn’t prepared a speech; she thought it would be best to just improvise everything from her heart, but as she looked around, all she could see were faces that had either done nothing to help or made the situation worse. Mike Dallas and Zig Novak being the two biggest culprits there.

“This, is so _unbelievably stupid_ ,” Maya admitted as she finally began her speech; Katie was taken aback by the blunt honesty coming from her sister. “I - I can’t believe we’re having to do this today. Cam didn’t deserve the treatment that he received here at Degrassi; then again, no one deserves that, right?” Maya continued, students either nodded or said ‘right’ in agreement with her words. Zig stood there silently with his blackened eye and watched onward.

“I want to know how someone could get into a position to feel so --- low?” Dave Turner spoke up from the crowd. Adam Torres decided to step up at that point, Maya backed up and he apologized for what he was doing before speaking on behalf of what he went through. “I’m pretty sure some of you,” Adam began as he glared at Owen Milligan, “named Mark Fitzgerald or Fitz?” Adam asked, a few people nodded in agreement including Owen Milligan and Drew clenched his jaw in anger at the thought of the guy. “Yeah, well, he along with my family - they were the reason why I could have been there in that Greenhouse last year myself. It’s pressure to conform to society and be someone you’re not that can cause so many issues. Adding on cruel words, gestures, and stupid pranks or whatever? It all adds up until there’s so much fuel added to the fire that self-harm becomes suicide attempts or even actual suicide.” Adam rambled, sounding angry as his voice cracked from the testosterone that was now in his veins.

“He’s right, Fitz bullied me as well until he finally left Degrassi. Good riddance to him but more importantly, it shouldn’t have happened. Maya, would you like to speak again?” Eli asked, coming out of the shadows to give the microphone back over to Maya. She nodded, taking the microphone though she knew she couldn’t sound eloquent or make much of a point.

“All we’re really asking is that this bullying problem comes to a total or near total stop. We need to make a pact to be kinder and more open to getting along with one another! Who’s with us?” Maya questioned the crowd, a flock of people raised their hands. Not everyone but more than half of the crowd spread out to go get free food and a t-shirt or patch for the new Degrassi Kindness Pact, once they signed an agreement to not get into any kind of trouble for bullying until graduation.

* * *

 

Once the rally was over, Eli left without saying a word; there wasn’t much he could say when he felt like his chest was going to cave in as his mind flashed back to the memories of Cam’s body laying in the Greenhouse again. His breath was held as he opened the unlabeled bottle of Xanax bars he had been given by a young girl named Esme; she was a grade or two below him but she was street smart. She gave him just enough to help ease his mind but the moment he swallowed one, he saw Simpson out of the corner of his eye, and knew he had been busted.

“Come on, Eli, let’s go talk in my office.” Simpson stated.

“It was just my anxiety meds, Sir. Have me tested if you don’t believe me,” Eli tried to bargain but Simpson wouldn’t budge. He knew what the young man was on - those pills were not the same thing, despite being the same drug, they were a much higher dose. One that, if he wasn’t careful, he would become addicted to them. The relaxing high he would get off of them alone made him feel much better but it looked like getting anymore medication would come to an end. “Later, Adam.” Eli spoke softly as he passed by his friend while walking with the Principal. He sat down in the man’s office moments later and glared at him.

“What the fuck, dude?” Adam mouthed at his friend passing him by but Eli didn’t respond. He just simply walked through the foyer into the Principal’s office, once again. Trying his best not to show any emotion along the way as he didn’t feel guilt, remorse, or anything over what he had done.

“Eli, I have given you chance after chance to prove to me that you’re getting better after what happened. I know we went through the same thing but you can’t let this eat at you forever; it’s not okay!” Simpson stated, Eli looked up, the medication had already started working because of the high dosage he was taking and he remained calm. “Where did you get that medication? It’s not what we keep for you here in the office.” Simpson questioned.

“I’m not giving up my source; the person is new-ish to this school and deserves a chance here. So, that person isn’t going to be named. I refuse to turn her in.”

“In that case, you get suspension for insubordination and a phone call to your parents. You need to be in therapy, maybe even residential care, and you can work on your NYU stuff from there. I’m calling your dad now.” Simpson explained calmly but with a gentle tone of voice; Eli breathed a heavy sigh through his nose and nodded, rubbing his temple gently. Within a half an hour, Bullfrog showed up, this time he was eerily calm but stern as he told Eli to go get in the car while he and ‘Archie’ had a word. After calming down, Eli watched his father get into the vehicle. “What the hell were you thinking?” Bullfrog exclaimed in a worried tone.

* * *

 

“I took my medication so I could calm down after the rally against anti-bullying.” Eli explained himself, as he was taken straight to his psychiatrist’s office. “I’m sorry I took so much but at least it’s the same medicine.” Eli concluded quietly as he looked at the rain now dripping down onto the window of the classic Mustang. He nearly refused to get out of the car but when he was forced, Eli walked into the building.

Within a very short amount of time a decision had been made to send him to Brighter Days, as well. It was easier for him to be in a residential facility where he could be monitored; especially if he was going to buy drugs off of some new kid at school. Eli refused to go, he didn’t want to leave anyone behind - Clare, Adam, Fiona, Imogen, or anyone else he had grown closer to.

“I don’t want to leave _my friends or my projects_ behind.”

“You should have thought of that **before** you did four times the amount of your prescription. After this month, you will be cut off from that drug, and given something new. While you’re in treatment, we’ll figure out what works best, but for now - you must spend some time in Brighter Days. They’re state of the art and you will be able to do your work from there, you’re allowed.” The therapist explained, Eli nodded and caved in temporarily to the idea of going to this place. Yet, even he knew that wouldn’t last very long at all.

* * *

 

During the last three days, KC and Cam became friends during that time, and bonded over how difficult their coaches could be. Miles sometimes joined in, talking about being in the public eye thanks to his father being a politician, and running for Prime Minister of Canada. The whole ordeal felt insane to Miles, it had driven him to the brink of anxiety and Miles knew his time would have been cut short had he not been sent to Brighter Days.

What the group of three boys didn’t expect was for Eli Goldsworthy to show up, to be gray suited, and immediately taken into isolation right in front of them for being a danger to himself. “ ** _I’m so sick of this hero crap!_** I’m **no one’s hero** ; I’m just a guy that did the right thing. Why can’t everyone leave me alone about it?” Eli exclaimed angrily as he was escorted right past Cam, KC and Miles as they peered out into the halls.

“How can _he_ afford this place?” KC asked himself, only to remember who Eli’s father was and how he was a Shock Jock DJ on Toronto’s biggest rock music station. That alone made him a bit of a local celebrity with a fair amount of cash in his pocket. “I guess -- it looks like he finally **snapped** again?” KC continued, Miles remained silent and Cam swallowed hard, so hard that KC heard the gulp of saliva go down his friend’s throat.

“No, that’s the guy that found me when I tried to kill myself.” Campbell admitted, furrowing his brow as he watched Eli fighting to be let go of in the halls, only to be warned that if he kept his hateful behavior up - he wouldn’t be able to leave isolation for another twenty-four hours. That shut Eli up, he became compliant and continued his walk down the halls, not even seeing Cam as he passed him by.  “Looks like I ruined his life or something. Great!”

Campbell slumped down onto the table after pushing his plate of food away. He was finished with eating lunch that day and decided to head off to his recess time. “Anyone want to try me at roller hockey?” Cam asked, only to be interrupted by a nurse.

“Hello, Campbell, we need to change your scrubs colors. You’re turquoise instead of lime green; we made a small error yesterday and the person responsible has been let go.” The nurse explained, he handed the color coded scrubs over to the young man.

“Uh, what does this mean? Teal or turquoise; seriously, what do all the colors mean?” Cam attempted to ask again, the nurse which was Head-of-Staff in that department smirked then laughed quietly. He was amused at the fact that Campbell pieced it together that they were all color coded.

“I can’t tell you which color means what but - yours meant that you were seen as a one week patient that was going home and into extensive outpatient; this color means you need to be monitored at recess, meals, after hours, and you can’t have sharp objects near you.” The man explained, Cam nodded and sighed softly, feeling defeated and like his freedom was taken from him.

“What about that charcoal color?” Cam inquired, the nurse began to walk with him to the changing room so he could switch into his new scrubs.

“Charcoal means the patient will be in isolation from others because they're a danger to themselves or other people.” The nurse concluded, Cam quickly changed and handed over the old scrubs.

“So this means I don’t have as much much freedom?”

“Eh, _not really._ You mainly have to use plastic utensils and you can’t be around anything where you can hurt yourself.”

“Cool. _Real cool_.”

It seemed as though the place was starting to feel more like a prison than a mental health treatment facility. A sanctuary, as it had been advertised on television for the rich to send their troubled kids.

* * *

“I’m really worried about Eli, Adam. He won’t talk to me or tell me anything; if I ask, he snaps at me like he used to, and he’s starting to scare me.” Clare confessed, Adam gave her a look then shook his head in disbelief at what he was hearing.

“ _Don’t pressure him, then!_ ” Adam retorted.

“ **I’m not pressuring him.**  He needs to let the anger and hurt out but he won’t and it’s getting to him.” Clare confessed, feeling a heaviness taking over her chest as she forced back tears from falling. “I’m going to go now, I have to use my free period to study instead of hanging out today. See you around!”

Adam remained quiet as he watched the bitter, sad girl walk away from him and he sighed softly to himself. He was worried about Eli, typically he would have been out there by now but the young man had disappeared after Simpson caught him doing something. That was when he got the sinking feeling that Eli was in big trouble.

“I need to be at home, working on my projects - not in some - mental institution for spoiled rich kids!” Eli called out, the nurse outside his door ignored his words as he moved to sit down on the twin size bed he had been given. His room was not what he expected it to be - it reminded him of a nicer version of a prison cell.

He had a window that was barred from the inside, a twin size bed with a decently comfortable mattress and blanket for him to cover up with, a toilet and a sink. A shower was connected to the room so the nurse wouldn’t have to watch his every move; he was given ten minutes in there to clean up, then the water would cut off automatically. To Eli, he felt like a lower-class citizen inside the Titanic. Others were outside having recess or spending time in the guided meditation gardens. Sadly, he could look outside and see those same kids outside his window.

“Nurse, **I want to go home**!” Eli demanded, the woman stuck her head inside the room and shook her head ‘no’ at the young man.

“You’re **stuck here** until you learn better coping skills; you’ll be here up to twelve weeks if you keep acting like this. Accept this, help yourself, and you’ll be able to go in no time.” She stated, Eli narrowed his eyes as he sat down on his bed. “And don’t get too comfortable, you haven’t had anything to eat, so you’re going to the dining hall in a few to grab a bite.” She concluded.

"Thanks, _for nothing_." Eli muttered to himself.

 


	5. Satellite Heart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title / song is "Satellite Heart" by Anya Marina - credit goes to the artist.
> 
> Soundtrack for this chapter:  
> \- Satellite Heart by Anya Marina ( https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dx0q2DnOGDM )  
> \- Sleeping Sickness by City and Colour ( https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8rU7WPVcLmQ )  
> \- Bittersweet Symphony by The Verve ( https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aVlGeynp8B0 )

Eli was bitter. He was incredibly bitter during his first one-on-one therapy session with Dr. McCartney. His hands were shaking and as the clock ticked by, the doctor just sat there waiting for the young man to speak. “The longer you wait this out, Elijah, the longer you’re going to be here. You may have to repeat your final year of high school if you miss graduation and your projects!” Dr. McCartney explained, hoping that would get some sort of response from the young man. Eli put his face down into his hands and began to cry, thinking back on when he found Cam laying there, near death.

“I’ve lost so many people in my life, Doctor.” Eli began to explain himself, he softly sighed while his hands began to shake again from panic. First it was Julia, the first love he had, and she died in his arms after being hit by a car on her bike. “There was so much blood both this time and the first time.” Eli admitted, wiping away tears as he softly spoke to the older man he was now opening up to.  “There was no saving Julia; she was my everything but now I have Clare - if I haven’t scared her or pushed her away.”

“Go on.” Dr. McCartney replied, urging Eli to keep on speaking as he jotted down his notes onto some paper.

“When I found Campbell Saunders, I didn’t think he would make it, but he did and suddenly I became this hero to my school. People would ask me what he looked like because I blocked off the area so he could have privacy; people would say congrats about my life saving abilities. It’s so messed up - I’m not a hero because I do the right thing sometimes!” Eli rambled, tears had started to pour as his voice finally cracked, and he leaned back into the couch he was sitting on.

“It sounds to me like you have a touch of complex PTSD, Elijah. Do you know what that is?”

“Something war veterans have?”

“No, no, it’s something young people get when they experience multiple severe traumas in life. It affects them for the rest of their lives but it’s controllable with the right medications. The correct therapies, and so on..” Dr. McCartney explained.

“So, I have this on top of being bipolar? What’s next?” Eli exclaimed, his tone filled with annoyance as he looked down at his feet which were only covered in socks.

“Hopefully nothing! We’ll get you started on treatment for complex PTSD and we will hope for the best. How are you sleeping since you found Campbell’s body?”

“Nightmares; there’s so much blood. I can’t sleep.”

“We will fix that, too, then. I’ll prescribe some sleep medication for you and we’ll see if that helps you and stops the nightmares. It works for plenty of patients!” The doctor explained, Eli nodded.

“I have days where I don’t want to be me anymore.” Eli admitted softly, his eyes still dripping tears slowly down his pale cheeks as he spoke; making his face glisten in the sunlight. “I don’t want to be here but I don’t want to be at home, either. I feel really alone right now and I don’t know how this isolation thing will help me - you know?” Eli concluded, Dr. McCartney smiled back at him and sat his book down. They had reached a breakthrough together.

“No need for it and you can change your hair while you’re here; some suicidal or severely depressed teens arrive with gender dysphoria. They’re allowed to cut their hair or dye it, maybe both. If you feel the need to get rid of the black hair, you can, I’ll have the nurse escort you down there then you can change into dark blue scrubs once you’re done getting your hair restyled.” The doctor rambled, Eli nodded thinking it would be better to lose the doom-and-gloom black and go back to light brown, short hair.

“Thanks, Doctor.”

The doctor merely nodded in response and opened the door so that Eli could leave with the nurse. “Take this one to get his hair restyled and then give him dark blue scrubs; isolation isn’t needed for this one - he’s no threat.” The doctor stated quietly to the nurse.

* * *

Cam snapped a photo of his new scrubs and sent it to Maya right before the first phone call of the day at five o’clock. “You look different!” She exclaimed as she picked up the phone, Cam chuckled, and leaned back onto his pillows.

“Yeah, well, new color coded scrubs. They didn’t want me to have anything sharp and I’m being monitored a little more now but it’s not so bad. My therapist said I may only be in here for three weeks, instead of six. I’m handling things well.” Campbell admitted, he then thought about how he saw Eli trying to fight his way through the halls earlier while being admitted into the facility. “Eli, the guy that found me, he ended up here by the way. I’m a little scared of him now that I’ve - really seen him.” Cam confessed, feeling his heart pound a little harder in his chest as he spoke about the young man thrashing and shouting about not belonging there.

“It’ll be okay. I’m coming up for a visit soon by the way!” Maya admitted, Cam’s jaw dropped and his expression formed a genuine smile upon hearing those words.

“Right, visitors day is on Friday, correct?” Cam asked.

“Mhm! I’ll be seeing you on Friday at four. Mom already said she would have Katie drive me up and Katie wants to see you, too. She wants to see how you are since she’s worried.” Maya commented, she could practically hear the young man smiling through the phone.

“How did the rally go?”

“Interesting. Zig was there and so was the whole team - Owen and Mike included.”

“What the? Why?” Cam questioned.

“Don’t ask me but I thought it was stupid. Especially for Zig, I didn’t want to see him and I’m surprised he was even at school or allowed on campus.”

“My parents want to press charges on Zig.” Cam admitted, he felt some sense of guilt for that but at the same time, he wanted justice now that he was actually fighting both body and mind to live. "If you ask me, I should finish what I started and just beat the hell out of him but that would defeat the purpose of today's rally." 

"Speaking of that, I didn't get to say much but my bandmate - Adam - he got the point across for me. He could see that I was just angry at everyone that had hurt you, me, and anyone else in the school." Maya spoke softly, realizing that that time was almost up for the two of them. "Do you know if the three week thing is for sure? I miss you a lot," She added, Cam let out a soft sigh and ran a hand through his light brown locks of hair.

"Three to six weeks; it was six weeks but they said I could go home at three if I keep showing progress, talking it out, and doing well with this new medication." Campbell explained, hearing a knock on the door from the nurse he watched as she stepped in to get his cellphone.

"Time for groups, Campbell!" The young nurse sweetly whispered and motioned for his cellphone.

"Gotta go, I love you and I'll call you at eight."

"I love you, too, Cam!" Maya replied happily, a soft smile tracing her lips as she spoke the words while butterflies began to flutter within her abdomen. Little did she realize, Katie was standing at the doorway when she said that to Cam before they hung up. 

"Saying you love him now?" Katie inquired with a shocked tone to her voice.

"Yeah, I do; I know I do. This was what it took to really show me how important he is to me and how I truly feel about him." Maya began, looking down at the selfie of them on the couch from two nights before Cam's suicide attempt - it was the background on her phone. Getting emotional, Maya wiped tears from her eyelids before her glasses could fog up. "I never want to lose him or get near that point again."

Katie rubbed her sister's back gently and nodded as she listened. "I see, I can tell you love him but you have barely been together a few months." 

"Yet you loved Drew by month one, come on, Katie!"

"Good point. Dinner will be ready in a few, wipe those tears away and come join me and Mom."

* * *

 

Cam quietly entered into the room with several others suffering from depression. He had a workbook in hand, ready to look at that evening’s lesson, but before he could get settled into the group - he was pulled aside by a doctor. It was Dr. McCartney, the therapist in charge of Eli Goldsworthy and a few more difficult patients. “Excuse me, Dr. Estevez, I need to take Campbell here to my office - someone wants to talk to him.” Cam heard the doctor say, suddenly the young hockey star felt his stomach drop from nervousness as he walked with the balding, middle aged man to his office. There, he saw Eli Goldsworthy, nearly unrecognizable with his new hair as it had been dyed light brown and left in a wavy short style. 

“Y-you’re…. Eli, right?” Cam asked, taking a seat as Dr. McCartney shut the door behind the the young man so he could sit with Eli. Elijah nodded his head, he noticed the color of Cam’s scrubs and raised his eyebrows. A color he rarely saw around those halls during his short time there. “Uh, this is kind of awkward. Hi?” 

“Hey, Campbell. How are you  - um - feeling?” Eli asked a question that even he hated hearing from anyone. Professional, non-professional, 

Cam wanted to be honest with Eli that he was doing a lot better but the other looked like he was falling apart at the seams. “I guess I’m doing as okay as any one in my condition could be doing. You?” Cam replied, his hazel-brown eyes watching Eli in case the other was to get angry. He looked less intimidating without the black hair, without the dark clothes, and the badass attitude he seemed to have. 

“Well, I could be better, I’m only in here because I haven’t been coping well with what I saw that day,” Eli began in an honest statement, “I’m likely going to be in here longer than you which is pretty messed up but everyone heals from trauma differently. From what I was told, at least.” Eli explained, Cam scratched the back of his neck awkwardly as he listened to Eli talk about his feelings. The doctor was closely monitoring the two; making sure they were getting along and that nothing was about to happen. 

With a heavy heaved sigh, Campbell’s lip began to quiver as his signature sweet puppy look came over his expression before tears started to fall from his eyes. “Thank you but you didn’t...have to stop and save me or get closer than you did.” Cam calmly stated, though tears were falling from his eyes as he exhaled shaky breaths. “You’re a -,” before he could get the words out Eli held his hand up to stop Cam but the hockey prodigy kept going.

“Guy with a good heart to stop and help me like that; no one else would have. Simpson walked right by me and didn’t notice me there bleeding. Yet, you did, and you - you made it your mission to do the right thing. Thank you, I’m grateful to be here and I’m grateful people like you exist!” Cam blurted out then buried his face in his hands to let out tears that he needed to let go of, to get rid of some of the pain. Eli began to cry too before he moved closer and wrapped an arm around Cam’s shoulders for comfort.

“It’s no big deal; I’m glad you’re here, too.” 

“That could have been me last year, you know. I know how it is to feel that low so if you need me, I’m here. Always.” Eli stated, having another small breakthrough;  he was making miraculous progress that day. Nothing like Dr. McCartney had seen before during his career. 

“I owe you, Eli.”

“No, you really don’t. Let’s just be friends and be there for each other when we get back to Degrassi, okay?” 

“Yeah, I like the idea of that a lot!”    
  



End file.
